John Cosgrove

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A CHILDS WAR

A CHILDS WAR

    I Remember,

Gas mask, Ratiion

The black market, siren suits.

Blackouts, barrage balloons

The A.R.P., and bombers moons,

Running helter skelter, for

The safely of the shelter.

German bombers overhead,

MUMMY'S BOY

He did not like my pot roast,

Like wise my Fairy cakes,

My soup he said was watery,

And not what Mother would make.

My ironing was not to snuff,

Each day brought a new moan,

I suggested he go back to mother,

And I would remain here on my own,

Yesterday was the last straw

He criticised my stew.

At bedtime he asked for cocoa,

And could I make it like mother used to do.

I visited a marraige guidance councillor and,

Came away with a different point of view.

I took a belt to the little blighters legs,

The way his mother used to do.

I should have done it long ago,

The change in him is complete.

He now asks for seconds,

Life now, is so sweet.

CAUSE AND EFFECT

Heartburn, Indigestion

Morning sickness. menstruation

Swollen ankles, swollen tum

You know you look like tweedledum.

Stomach cramp, lose you water,

Text book birth lovely daughter

Bonnie baby, worth the wait.

Glad you were not celebate.

You and he can't break the habit.

At it, like a pair of rabbits

Have your fun, but you will pay.

Father's night becomes mother day'

Once more no menstration,

He must have the operation

He's to blame, he's the cause

Get a life BEFORE THE MENOPAUSE .

CAST THE FIRST STONE

hOW QUICK WE ARE TO JUDGE THEM

jUNKIES, WIFE BEATERS, AND THE REST,

THOUGH WE FIND THEIR BEHAVIOUR REPUGNANT,

WHOSE MORALITY IS THEIR LITMUS TEST

THE MEDIA HAVE BECOME JUDGE AND JURY

ESPOUSING THE CONCENTRIC POINT OF VIEW

IN THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION,

SOME ACCUSSED HAVE BECOME VICTIMS TOO.

THEIR IS ALWAYS TWO SIDES TO A STORY,

NEVER BE TO QUICK TO DECRY,

JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED.

THERE BUT THE GRACE OF GOD GO I

A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE 

Do you ever see old thingummybob?

him that was mates with what-was-his-name.

His sister married yon wee dark chap.

Aye , that's the one, the very same.

I think he worked part-time in a chip shop,

Was it Tony's Angelo's mibbees Irene's

Don't tell me, I'm sure I'll get it

Ach you know the one I mean.

For a year I went to school with his sister,

Was it primary two, or maybe primary three

She had a funny name like Vesta or Brunhilde,

It's on the tip of my tonque, no don't help me

My brother and I went to different schools together,

I went to Thomson St, he went somewhere in Townhead.

Hold on a minute have I got that right?

Aye, It's just like I said.

I saw your brother down the Barra's last week,

He was looking for a thingamjig

Did he no have a yard in Cubie St

He Kept chickens, I thought it was pigs?

Here it was great talking about the old days..

This is my daughter, she's taking me for my tea.

Him, him and I go away back,

It's a shame he's losing his memory

SORE HEARTS AND SILVER DARLINGS

They beached their boat on Mingulay's shore

The blacked trimmed jib, said one was no more, 

His share was left by the old see wall,

Twenty silver darlings in an old grey shawl.

Home to their cottage, by way of the track

Off with the grey. and on with the black.

No tears she, though her heart was sore.

A new widowed woman, with no man to grieve oe'r

Three days syne, she sat by the strand,

Watching the surf for her Calum to land.

In the bothy t'was said she would be fine

A cold wife now, but still in her prime.

They came from the manse, and spoke of her girth,

She would stay with them, till after the birth.

Not a sinner has seen her since that day.

Was it their pity that drove her away?

Like as not went out of her mind,

Losing her man, and so near her time.

Did the sea take her too, like the love of her life.

Was it the thought of being another mans wife?

WINTER SUN.

Harry awoke to the sound of the alarm going off upstairs.  It stopped suddenly, she must have turned it off.

Harry was still raging. They had had a blazing row last night, and he had decided to sleep downstairs on the couch.  He showered and although he did not want to, he had to go up to the bedroom for a change of clothes. Ella lay facing the wall, and he could hear her snuffling. he went down stairs and made some coffee and toast.  Washing his dishes he sensed someone behind him.  It was her, she said in a small voice "Is there any tea in the pot" in response he glared at her, and brushed past her.

As he slammed the outside door shut he heard her call out "Harry  Gunning down the driveway he glimpse Ella at the living room window.

The evening before he had been looking for a pair of cufflinks.  Time was running out. He would be late for the meeting.

"Do you know where my cufflinks are" he shouted.

"Try the small drawer in the wardrope" was the reply.

Of course they were not there, his bedroom table yeilded nothing, so he tried Ella's.  No cufflinks, but he found something else, a  considerable number of bills.  Placing them on the bed he went through them.

On her own credit card Ella owed nearly £4.000, and on their joint one they were in debt to the tune of £1400.  Cufflinks and the Masonic meeting were forgotten as he thundered down the stairs to confront his wife.

It was a three mile drive to get on to the motorway.  Today the Winter Sun was particularly low, and at times his sun visor could not completely block out the glare.  He was so used to driving this road so he was almost on auto pilot. Still raging, he asked himself how could she accumulate such debts.  She had a week in Tenerife with her friend Marian, and a new dress for the Masonic ball.  A new winter coat appeared.  That would not be cheap.  These things alone could not account for such debt.  He was beginning to calm down a bit, but he still could not believe the duplicity of her.  This must have been going on for some time.

There was a steep hill just before the motorway.  Harry attacked it with the pedel to the metal. He was doing sixty when the sun got under the visor. driving blind as he crested the rise and drove straight into the arms of the stationary Land Rover parked there.

OLD FASHIONED

I AM CONSIDERED OLD FASHIONED

I LIKE THINGS THE WAY THEY USED TO BE

WHEN GOOD MANNERS WERE AT A PREMIUM,

AND WE HAD SENSE OF A COMMUNITY.

FRONT DOORS WERE REMAINED UNLOCKED AND

CHILDREN PLAYED OUT LATE IN THE STREETS.

NEIGHBOURS WERE ALL ON FIRST NAME TERMS,

AND POLICE REGULARLY WALKED OUR BEATS

NO BEGGARS HUDDLED IN DOORWAYS,

NO MUGGERS AFTER DARK.

NO SYRINGES IN STAIRWELLS

NO RAPIST IN THE PARK.

WHERE HAVE OUR CHRISTIAN VALUES GONE,

WAS IT THE FAULT OF YOU AND ME?

I BLAME POLITICIANS AND THE MEDIA

FOR THE COLLAPSE OF OUR SOCIETY.

BLACK TEA

Have you seen the milkman?

He's terribly, terribly late.

He's here usually by seven.

It's now quarter to eight.

I suppose you think me silly,

Getting into such a tizzy,

Over half a pint of semi-skinned 

but where the blazes is he?

I will have to go and look for him

I could posibly take black tea.

The paper boy has not seen him,

Where oh where can he be?

I see his float parked down the street.

Outside number sixty nine.

So that's where he has got to.

He's been there all this time.

What can he see in her.

Compared to her's, my house is pristine.

If her washing is anything to go by

She is well named dirty Mary McQueen.

I don't need to have my milk delivered.

I can walk to the corner shop instesd

When he comes for his money on Friday

I shall cut the blighter dead.

Who the blazes does he think he is.

Making a fool of me.

I'm still an attractive woman

I hate him now more than BLACK TEA.

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